HAYDEN: Beyond the Visor; Heartbreak

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.  Hey racers, make sure you get something or do something for your significant other, since you know you have already spoiled your racecar this winter!  But anyway, even though February and Valentine’s Day are usually associated with love and relationships, this edition of Beyond the Visor is about heartbreak.  

If you participate in something long enough, heartbreak is inevitable.  Whether it is participation in sports, your social life, or even just being a Detroit Lions fan, you will experience heartbreak in your life.  If you are in racing long enough, you’ll probably experience it multiple times!

Looking back to 2007, I had won some features at that point in my career and had also won a couple of track championships.  The truck class and factory stock/sportsman classes I had been running had fairly small purses.  I think the most I had won in a single race event at that point was $400.  Yes, racing was different back then and that $400 would cover expenses that it wouldn’t come close to covering today, but it was really not a massive amount of money.  Especially since we were getting into the era of special events for classes other than Super Late Models, like the Jack Darling Memorial for street stocks at Auto City Speedway.

In 2007 I moved up to the “sportsman” class at Birch Run Speedway (then known as Dixie Motor Speedway).  We ran our stock 4-link Chevelle against mostly 3-link cars with more made for racing parts (Ford 9” rear ends, tubular upper control arms and outboard shocks, etc.).  The racing was outstanding each week.  These cars didn't yet have the horsepower that many street stocks have today, and the tires were a lot smaller and harder, which made for great size by side racing.  I was fortunate enough to win the championship by a single point that yea.  At the end of the year they had a “Sportsman Invitational” that paid, I think, $900 to win.  I wanted to win that race so badly!

Raceday comes and there are around 20 cars in the field, which were mostly the usual suspects in the class along with a few travelers and street stock drivers that made changes to race on the bigger track.  It was a 40 lap race, compared to 25 laps for our normal events.  I don’t remember where I qualified, but it must have been pretty good because I started 8th.  The invert was probably a 10 or a 12.  

We get going and it is pure chaos, double-file for 4 or 5 rows, pushing the slower cars in front almost like a super speedway race. It was truly great racing.  I was able to make it up toward the front with some aggressive moves and avoiding the carnage that unfolded.  One of the other fast cars had maneuvered his way through the field pretty quickly, and by the time I got up to 2nd he had built up a pretty big lead.  The laps were winding down, but my long-run speed was paying off and I was cutting into the lead pretty quickly.  

A little back story here.  I was a college student at the time, going to Central Michigan University to get my education degree.  I also had a younger brother that raced as well, and my dad could not afford to run 2 cars.  He had told me in the summer of 2007 that after the season was over, I was more or less on my own to continue funding the racecar.  He wouldn’t sell it and we would obviously work on it together, but he couldn’t afford to keep me and my brother racing.  That was fair, since I was older and I had been racing longer.  My brother was just getting going in racing.  So a big payday at the end of the season would definitely have helped me with some maintenance over the winter to get ready for 2008, and it would have given me time to save up some more money to race the following summer.

I was definitely seeing dollar signs as I got to the back bumper of the leader.  The flagman gave us the open hand, I had 5 more laps to get it done.  I come off turn 4 the next lap, get a great run on the bottom down the frontstretch and I am at his door.  But right as I am about to lift for turn 1, down he comes just like he did the lap before, as if I wasn't even there.  I started to veer left and brake hard to stay off of him, but we got together and he went around.  

In hindsight, I should have stayed in it and just doored him.  But that’s not how I was raised to race.  So the guy spins out and they put us both to the tail with 4 laps to go.  I think I clawed back up to 9th by the end.  The payout for the night, a measly $100. Unbelievable. I drove a great race (except that one corner), stayed out of trouble, nailed my setup, and after all of that I had hardly anything to show for it.  

On the ride home I told my dad I was done, he could sell the car.  I knew I couldn’t afford to do this myself and race more than a handful of times a summer, and did I really want to do all of the work and pay all of that money to end up feeling like that all over again?  I had myself convinced in the moment that I was done racing cars.    Now, obviously that ended up not being true, at all.  But looking back, how could I have even contemplated quitting? 

I think that is the lesson here.  Through heartbreak you get stronger, you get smarter, and you learn about yourself.  In the moment, it hurts.  In the moment, you may think things that you truly don’t believe deep down.  And of course getting your heart broken absolutely sucks, but it can also be life’s greatest teacher and motivator if you have the right mindset.  

Hopefully you aren’t experiencing any heartbreak right now, especially around Valentine’s Day.  But when (not if) you do experience a heartbreak, just remember that heartbreak is really just an opportunity for you to change, grow, and improve as a person.  I’m really glad I didn’t listen to myself after the races that day, because I would have missed out on a lot of amazing experiences and relationships if I really had quit in 2007.  Of course, I have had my fair share of heartbreaking moments in racing since then, but I feel that I have come out of each one better than before. I am hopeful that all of you have used those tough moments to evolve as a person, too.   

As always, I appreciate your feedback as a reader.  If you thought this was as good as picking four new Hoosiers and actually getting the right stagger the first time, let me know!  If you thought this was worse than forgetting to take your helmet out of the bag and letting it air out before the next race (ewww), I’d love that feedback too.  You can find me on Facebook or email me at kylehayden2214@gmail.com.  Until next time, race on!